National Letter-Writing Month

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February is National Letter-Writing Month and a perfect opportunity to knock the dust off my pen. Fiction writers are encouraged to reconnect with family & friends, jump-starting shaky New Year’s resolutions( like mine), and generally embrace this antiquated writing style that deserves a better fate than to be replaced by email and Facebook updates.

A friend and fellow writer asked on Google+ for volunteers to exchange physical letters. How could I resist? I proposed that we use this chance to create some serialized fiction where the setting, characters, and events grow organically through what we write to each other. Since it was my idea, I have the dubious honor of going first. Here’s what I sent (handwritten, of course):

Sarah,

Eric is dead. They said it was an accident; that the traffic light malfunctioned and he probably didn’t even see the truck that hit him, but I suspect otherwise. All the same, he’s gone and I thought you should know that he never forgot his promise to you.

You might not remember me– I think you were still in junior high when we last spoke, although Eric bragged often about your accomplishments. He didn’t want to get you mixed up in our messy situation, despite your expertise in, shall we say “techie” stuff. It was hard enough keeping ourselves out of trouble without exposing others to the uncomfortable truth. While I thought he was a bit paranoid at the time, I respected his wishes on the matter. Now I wish I’d fought harder to change his mind.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble on like this, but there is so much to tell you and I don’t even know if you’re ready. Did Eric ever tell you why we left so abruptly after our video went viral? Did he tell you about what we found afterwards? I know he wrote someone letters every now and then, so perhaps you do and will understand the need for this outdated mode of communicating between friends.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know about Eric’s passing and hope you’re doing well.

Carl

Stay tuned for the reply!

Under the knife, but in a good way

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By the time this post is published, I will be undergoing surgery to correct some minor anatomical aberrations that hinder my ability to sleep and breathe at the same time.

This is not my first time on the cutting table and for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, let me say that it is a memorable experience.

You are laying on a gurney wearing a thin gown being wheeled down the hallway by an orderly who is trying to put you at ease by asking you questions about your family, that tattoo on your arm, the weather, anything but what is going to happen shortly.

You enter the operating room and the first thing you notice is how cold it is. A nurse joins the orderly and they help you climb from the gurney to the table and ask you to lie back and relax. Like that’s going to happen, you think. More people come in, like the doctor, the anesthesiologist, more nurses, etc. Your leg trembles and you cannot stop it, while they make small talk and prepare the equipment they need to keep you alive.

The anesthesiologist tells you that he will be giving you a shot of something, but you won’t remember what he is saying afterwards. All you can think about is how in a few minutes you will be unconscious while strangers cut into your flesh like you’ve seen on the television show ‘House’, and you hope that this won’t be one of those moments where things don’t go horribly wrong and they have to tear you open just to save your life.

Sounds scary, but I wouldn’t be doing this again if I didn’t feel confident that these medical professionals know what they are doing. See you on Monday!

#JanoWriMo

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I participated in last year’s NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), a writer’s version of the Boston Marathon without all that exercise, but I was unable to reach the goal of 50,000 written words in November. At one point, a fellow writer expressed a wish that this event could happen on a less hectic month, like January. I agreed and we looked at a calendar to find a suitably barren month.

Thus was born… JanoWriMo.

I don’t know how motivated I will be to match the lofty goal of 50,000 words, but what the heck. I have a solid idea for my next novel and time to write during my morning commute.  For those of you out there who are looking for a support network as part of your New Year’s resolution to write that novel, I humbly offer my little ol’ blog as a place to start.

Is George Bailey an immortal?

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You probably know the 1946 classic ‘It’s A Wonderful Life‘, where a good man named George Bailey has a terrible day and wishes he’d never been born.  An unlikely angel grants his wish and George finds out how different the world would be without him.  My family watches this movie each Christmas, but this year a strange thought came to me…

What if George Bailey hadn’t returned his old life in the end? After all, he had strong motivation to not return to face jail and economic ruin, but it goes beyond the appeal of anonymity in this new world.  I propose three points to illustrate that George could have been, in fact, an accidental immortal, which changes everything.

#1 George’s physical condition:  Okay, nobody is denying that George has a physical body, but this is more than just being transported to a parallel dimension, this is a fundamental reset. We see that his split lip is untouched and his decades-long hearing damage is restored — no, they never happened in the first place!   George freely interacts with his new body, because we see him have a whiskey and get thrown out of Nick’s, then climbs into a cab and gets involved in a tussle with Bert, the cop.  I guess my biggest problem is that he didn’t age to get to his present state, nor was there any reason to make his new body conform to natural laws, since this was supposed to be a brief trip to an alternative world.

#2 Clarence Oddbody: Frank Capra establishes early in the film that Clarence is not particularly adept in the angel business, and the lesson in non-existence seems to be a last-minute decision.  His supervisory angels mention that he “has the IQ of a rabbit”, which doesn’t bode well for our clock-maker turned divine messenger. Who can say what shortcuts were taken to make this miracle happen?  Would Clarence have the foresight to consider what would happen if George didn’t want to go back to his old life?

#3 George Bailey’s Options: In the film, George is given a choice, to return to a life where he is destined for jail after several extremely poor choices (threatening to blame Uncle Billy to save himself, yelling at his family, and storming out to get drunk), or he could start over in a world where a lifetime of regrets were wiped clean. Mary in the new world could be wooed and Potter wouldn’t live much longer…

Ignoring Capra’s ending, I’d make a case that George left Potterville and put his financial skills to work in a post-WW2 Europe in need of reconstruction.  Remember, George Bailey’s first wish was to be an architect, building great skyscrapers and bridges, so I figure he’d have no trouble finding work.  In five or six years, he’d return to his hometown teetering on the edge of economic collapse (remember all the pawnshops, liquor stores, and dancing joints on Main Street?) and he’d launch a campaign to dismantle the crumbling Potter empire, led by a feeble old man with no heir. I think George would be more determined than ever to restore a dimly remembered past, but instead of an implausible ending that doesn’t address the imbalances that led to the tragic Christmas eve, in my version Clarence’s ‘gift’ would accidentally prove to be the best thing to happen to our Mr. Bailey.

What flavor apocalypse are you rooting for in 2012?

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Everyone knows the Mayan calendar points to the end of our civilization’s ‘cycle’ on December 21, 2012, so many folks think we will face an apocalypse before the end of the year. One thing these ancient timekeepers forgot to say was how we will meet our end.

I’ve compiled some of the better theories (in no particular order) and encourage you to bring up any good ones I may have forgotten:

  • Alien Invasion – Whether they come in peace, or in force, these technologically superior creatures recognize the importance of being at the top of the food chain. Perhaps they won’t eat us, they may just want to move in and dislike the current tenants.
  • Natural Disaster – Since childhood, we’ve heard about the delicate nature of our biosphere, from the stringent conditions necessary to maintain life, to the intricate balance between species sharing the same few square feet of planetary surface. Mother nature has a multitude of options available to ‘thin the herd’: solar flare, climate change, asteroids, sulphuric atmosphere, etc. The bigger question in my book is why hasn’t she done so already?
  • Divine Wrath – Depending on your chosen deity, this one might be a reach, although religious texts suggest that this approach is always an option to drive the wicked from His/Her sight. Flooding, raining fire and brimstone… these have been tried, so look for something more spectacular the next go-round.
  • Zombie Plague – Hollywood has been all over this option, the only question being whether they will be shambling corpses or those that run real fast. I’ve always had a problem with the fixation on brain-eating, considering how efforts to maintain dead flesh viable would be better spent consuming fresh oxygenated blood… Then again, we are talking plague, so bring on the hunger for tasty neurons.
  • Robots Declare War – Twenty years ago, my phone required a cord to connect to another phone, now the darned think can talk back and transfer money from my account with a couple of swipes of my finger. Is it so hard to imagine the day when these things autocorrect a drunken text message that accidentally triggers missile launch codes, or a digital orc from a MMORPG gains sentience and carries the war to our doorsteps – literally?

Those prescient ancestors wrote that the previous cycle ended when mankind’s tools rose up against him, and firmly believed that the next (our) cycle would follow a similar fate. Based on that fact, you can bet I plan to go fishing on December 21st and I’m not taking my cellphone with me. Let the fishing reel or lawnchair challenge my right to exist at their own peril.

House rules on this blog

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This is my blog.

The contents of my posts come from me unless otherwise stated and I firmly believe in crediting sources. I may post things you don’t like, but won’t try to piss you off. I may edit posts to correct attributions, poor grammar and spelling, or provide follow-up information.

Fiction writing is my thing.

Besides writing fiction, I love to connect what I’ve read with things that happen in the world around me. This means that I may occasionally take liberties with the facts surrounding what is in the news, or interject details that don’t exist. I strongly recommend you don’t use me as a credible academic source.

Any remarks that seem disrespectful or libelous are entirely accidental and I will gladly post apologies to offended parties upon request.

You’re welcome to swim, but don’t pee in the pool.

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